List of posts by Sinjin Van Cleef
This is a listing of Sinjin Van Cleef's TheSlap.com posts. Sinjin is the second recurring character to have an account on TheSlap, the first being Erwin Sikowitz. The like button functions the same way it does with Facebook. The hashtag notation functions the way it does on Twitter. Posts *'Sinjin': I'm starting a petition to get Jade to like me. "Like" this if you think I have a chance. *'Sinjin': I wrote poems about Jade. I hope she reads them. They describe my feelings for her: **Poem 1: Smile, yours is so white, The enamel on your teeth Is the highlight of my life. **Poem 2: Just talked to Beck. Said you guys broke up. I am your rebound. **Poem 3: Don't like me like that? There's always Tori or Cat But Trina scares me. **'Jade:' I can't believe this creep wrote poems about me and my own boyfriend never has! **'Beck:' Wait, some creep writes a poem about you and you blame me!?!?!? EXPLAIN THAT! *'Sinjin': Still waiting for the gang to pick me up on our Venice Beach trip. I texted Jade, but she didn't answer. Waiting outside, man is it hot! *'Sinjin': I got a app that says if your milk was expired. It didn't work. *'Sinjin': It's so hot inside. I've been sleeping outside. I'm nice and cool... but covered with bug bites :( *'Sinjin': Somebody said I was creepy today. Agree? Disagree? *'Sinjin': Cutting my hair with one of those razors you hook up to the vacuum. Best haircut ever. *'Sinjin': Bought a hair straightener. Straightened my hair. Results were disastrous. *'Sinjin': Will people take me seriously if I start waxing my legs? **'Tori:' ...... **'Andre': ...... **'Robbie:' ...... *'Sinjin': Jade has a very lovely home. **'Jade:' That's it, I'm buying a guard dog. *'Sinjin': My mom accidentally shrunk my skinny jeans. Now I can't bend my legs. *'Sinjin': I sit behind Jade in homeroom. She has the prettiest earlobes. *'Sinjin': I've started doing eyebrow pushups. I now probably have the strongest brows in my class. *'Sinjin': I just lost a raisin in my hair. Last time this happened it took me hours to find it. *'Sinjin': I've been watching a show about hoarders—ya know, people who keep like everything. Sounds fun! *'Sinjin': Happy St. Patrick's Day! **'Trina': It was last week, weirdo. *'Sinjin': I just got ask out by a hot blonde cheerleader ... APRIL FOOL'S! Nobody asked me out! Looks like the joke's on you! *'Sinjin': Have you ever had one of those days where you show up at school and realized you forgot to put on pants? *'Sinjin': I just got invited to be in a boy hair show. I didn't know those existed. *'Sinjin': A rat snuck into our kitchen last night. Awesom! I've been wantin a new pet! *'Sinjin': Working on a new gum flavor: Triple A Battery. It's quite shocking. *'Sinjin': Bought a used retainer at a yard sale! Straight teeth: here I come! *'Sinjin': Will someone please teach me how to dance? My grandma refuses to do it anymore. *'Sinjin': What should the next wad of food on my locker be? I'm feeling meatloaf. Any other suggestions? *'Sinjin': I found cat throw up in my backpack this morning. I'm half disgusted/half excited to glue it to my locker. *'Sinjin': You know who I'd love to meet? The entire cast of iCarly. Probably won't ever happen though. *'Sinjin': Does anyone else at Hollyward Arts have lice? I can't be the only one, right? **'Sikowitz': Sinjin, I think I speak for everyone here when I say I'm not coming to school today... or for the rest of the week. *'Sinjin': Sweater vests will NEVER go out of style! *'Sinjin: '''Had an indoor picnic in my living room. Was attacked by an ants. Maybe my mom should call pest control. *'Sinjin: I finally finished rearranging my underwear by color: lightest to darkest. My summer is really boring. *'Sinjin: '''Wanna hear how I got my name? Yeah, I'd like to know too! #weirdname *'Sinjin: I think my ankles are bloated. My socks are too tight. Gotta lay off the pretzels. *'Sinjin:' Hired someone to write funny status updates for me. Jade fired her. She was too cute. *'Sinjin:' Found a chunk of meatloaf under my pillow. Not sure how or when it got there, but it was delicious. **'Trina:' Every time I think about you, I want to throw up in my mouth. **'Sinjin:' At least you think about me. *'Sinjin:' I got asked to pose for the cover of the 2012 Awkward Teenage Boys Calendar. Should I be insulted or flattered? *'Sinjin: '''Drove across the state to see the country's largest gas station. My family takes the worst vacations. *'Sinjin: Saw Lady Gaga at the farmers market (at least I think it was her). Asked her if she liked my sock puppet video. She pretended not to hear me. *'Sinjin: '''Can I stay with anyone while my house is being fumigated? **'Rex: 'No. **'Andre: 'Sorry. **'Beck: uh...no. **'Sinjin: ' Oh… okay. I've always wanted to sleep in a tent anyways. *'Sinjin: '''I found a tooth on the street today! Sometimes I cannot believe how lucky I am! **'Tori: Wait... you've been carrying around a street-tooth all day? And you don't find anything wrong with this? **'Sinjin: '''Quite the opposite, Tori. There's nothing more right. **'Tori: 'Ew. *'Sinjin: 'Went to the gym. Fell off the treadmill. Broke a toe. I'm done going to the gym for awhile. *'Sinjin: 'For my birthday, my parents got me a stick I can scratch my back with. I wanted a car, but you take what you can get. *'Sinjin: 'Do skunks know how bad they smell? And if they do, do you think it makes them depressed? *'Sinjin: 'Today I learned that mayonnaise makes a perfectly good substitute for hair gel. I had to use a lot though, so now my turkey sandwich is mayo-less. **'Tori: 'I think I'm done with mayo for forever. *'Sinjin: 'I made my own pants from bits of leftover carpet. I call them.... carpet pants. I'm not very good at naming things. *'Sinjin: ' Did you know that a lifeguard can kick you off the beach for being too awkward and gangly? I found that out the hard way. *'Sinjin: A monkey at the zoo sneezed on me and now I think I have the flu. Sorry in Advance if I get you sick. **'Beck:' You can't get sick from a monkey sneezing on you. Animals have different germs than humans. **'Jade:' Is Sinjin human? *'Sinjin:' Halloween pumpkin is rotting on my front porch. I'll bring it to school tomorrow if anyone wants to sniff it. *'Sinjin:' Do I have the only family that does pizza on Thanksgiving instead of turkey? Is that weird? *'Sinjin:' Sikowitz didn't show up to school again so Jade decided to take over. She gave everyone detention—but she looked pretty doing it. *'Sinjin:' Do you know how hard it is to keep my hair looking this good all the time? Not very hard actually. My hair's just awesome I guess. *'Sinjin: '''My facial hair was getting out of control, so I had to shave this morning. Never letting that happen again. **'Beck:You have facial hair? **'''Sinjin: Yeah. Enough that I had to shave it off. #crazy. *'Sinjin:' Why is getting coal in your stocking a bad thing? In a couple of thousand years it can turn into a diamond! Van Cleefs in the future are gonna be rich! *'Sinjin:' My stomach growled so loudly I thought it was my phone vibrating. Then I realized I was just hungry... and no one called me. *'Sinjin:' I decided to cancel my gym membership. Why mess with perfection? *'Sinjin:' I saw some pics of myself when I was younger. Man, my hair was ridiculous back then. **'Jade:' Yeah it's totally awesome now. **'Sinjin:' Really, Jade? You think so? **'Jade:' No. *'Sinjin:' Y'know, I think Jade would like me more if I straightened my hair. BRB! Off to the barber! **'Jade:' I still wouldn't like you, but it would definitely be an improvement. *'Sinjin:' Late night talks on the phone with my girlfriend are the best! I already have the phone... now I just need the girl! *'Sinjin:' Thinking about going solo on Valentine's Day this year. Betcha it'll be really easy to get a table for one! *'Sinjin: '''This Saturday, come to a taping of my new game show: Queries for Couples! Live from Northridge! **'Rex:' You know I'll be there! *'Sinjin:' I emptied the vacuum bag at my house. It's full of Cat hair. I don't own a cat. The mystery thickens *'Sinjin:' I frequently take pictures by myself in photo booths. That's not weird right? **'Robbie:' No, of course not. I do it all the time! *'Sinjin:' My family's going on a trip this weekend and we're staying in a motel! It's gonna be hard going back to the real world after all this! *'Sinjin:' I sent a dozen roses to myself but only three roses showed up. Not gonna complain though, three is better than nothing. *'Sinjin:' I have a giant knot in my hair. I think it's because I forgot to brush for …oh… I'd say at least 2 or 3 days. *'Sinjin:' Anyone want to go with me to get my tetanus shot? I have a habit of passing out in the presence of needles. *'Sinjin:' I accidentally got my foot stuck in the men's room urinal. Can anyone come and help? (Boys only) **'Robbie:' Been there, man. **'Andre:' How? How did you do that? **'Tori:' Ugh, urinals gross me out. *'Sinjin: Trina asked me out during her first week at Hollywood Arts. I turned her down. Sinjin can smell desperation. *'Sinjin: '''They're handing out free sunscreen in the school hallway today! Best! Day! Ever! *'Sinjin: 'My barber just quit mid-haircut. Is my hair really that bad? *'Sinjin: 'If i had a nickel for every time my cat threw up in my shoes, I'd have $4.85. *'Sinjin: So glad my aunt finally got indoor plumbing. I'll never have to use an outhouse ever again! *'Sinjin: '''Has anyone seen Burf? I'm working on an art project and he was supposed to model for me.Ugh, models are so difficult to work with. *'Sinjin: My buddy Burf doesn't have his own Slap page yet. He says the world isn't ready for that much Burf yet. *'''Sinjin: Nothing like a good hip hop dance class to really get your heart going! Good work out ladies! *'Sinjin:' accidentally went thru the car wash with my windows down. Now my seats are wet, squishy, and soapy. *'Sinjin: '''I found a chewed piece of meat that completely matches my outfit. What a lucky day! *'Sinjin:' Yesssss! Skinny jeans are on, with plenty of room in the waist for pizza. Gonna be a good night. *'Sinjin:' A guy stole my shoes on Hollywood Blvd today. But he said "Have a nice day" as he was running away. Nicest mugger I ever met. *'Sinjin: I've taken up knitting. In exactly 4 days, I'll have a brand new bathing suit!!! *'''Sinjin: A bat just flew into my house! Looks like the VanCleefs have ourselves a new pet! *'Sinjin:' Y'know, you always hear about Crazy Cat Ladies, but never Crazy Cat Men. Maybe I'll become the first one ever! *'Sinjin:' If I could have any super power in the world, it would probably be the ability to straighten my hair with my mind. *'Sinjin: '''Waiting in line with Burf at Wanko's for the big sale tomorrow! Any ladies wanna skip ahead and snuggle with us? We'll be here all night. *'Sinjin: Man, there's so much good free food just lying around on the ground! Hollywood Arts is awesome! *'Sinjin: '''Fun Fact: My morning breath smells exactly like 3 day old oatmeal. *'Sinjin: They found my mom in Mexico! I hope she brings back a piñata for my birthday! *'Sinjin:' Flush Injustice! Support Tinkle-Aid! #BoysforEqualRestrooms *'Sinjin:' I had 4 butternut squashes in my locker and now they're gone! Either Burf knows my locker combination or Hollywood Arts has a ghost!!! *'Sinjin:' My neighbor said it was weird that I dig through his trash cans at night. I don't think so, he has much better trash than my family does. *'Sinjin:' It's the holiday season once again! Time for the Van Cleef traditional "Inflating of the Rubber Christmas Tree!" *'Sinjin:' Currently have my head shoved in a butterfly terrarium. Don't bother texting me, I'm super busy. *'Sinjin:' Finally found a girl who appreciates a good sock puppet show. Or as she calls it: ¡un espectáculo de títeres de calcetín! *'Sinjin:' I'm about to take my last bath of 2012! Hope it's a good one! *'Sinjin:' Say what you will about the Flour Bomber, the guy knows how to rock a one piece. *'Sinjin:' I just won an ugly sweater contest!!! True, I didn't know I was IN the contest, but a win's a win right! *'Sinjin:' At the mall, returning my grandma's gift. She got me NON-skinny jeans! It's like she doesn't even know me! *'Sinjin:' As a former nose picker, I feel like Jade and I really share a connection now. A sweet, snotty connection. *'Sinjin:' That's the second time in my life a toilet's been dropped on me. At least this time it was empty. *'Sinjin:' Stray Hallway Sodas! Yes! #BestDayEver!!! *'Sinjin:' Just got back from my man-date with Beck!!! We had a great time. I hope we can do it again soon! **'Beck:' Yeah, any time you want…. as long as you promise to never call it a "Man-Date". Category:TheSlap.com Category:Quotes Category:Hollywood Arts